Wish apon a Star
by JoxX
Summary: Sookie and her best friend Amelia have an out of this world adventure starring Eric and Pam... Lemony Goodness of the cherry popping variety... take a little peek you know you want too... Kiddies it M for a reason, it's how I roll! NEW CHAPTER...
1. Two Worlds Collide

A/N: Alt universe.... that crosses into our beloved sookieverse..... just something my brain came up with and kinda wrote it self LOL.... hope you like it may continue but still working on my big story Dead and Back Again. Please take the time to review...... I hope you like it....

JoXx

NO OFFENCE IS MEANT to the wonderful Charlaine Harris. As always, her sand box, her dolls, while she wasn't looking I just, played with them.... sorry Sookie and Eric are a bit sticky, a little wash they should be fine. LOL

* * *

Sookie had just finished writing; she was really pleased with her effort. 'Dead in the family' was finally finished. She punched the air "Woo hoo" she yelled. _Oh yeah, I am the bomb,_ she thought, feeling of jubilation that she had finally finished. And why shouldn't she, after all she had written now ten books about an alternate universe she created. Had thousands of fans all over the world, her books where now a TV show and had a cast of hot young actors. Not that anyone could associate it with her, she wrote under the name of Charlaine Harris.

"I heard whooping, dare I ask is it finished?" the smiling figure stood in the door way with a tray of cookies and milk.

"Oh Gran, I am done and it's a doozy. I am really pleased it. I got a day to spare before it's due at the publishers, not like me huh?" she grinned. Gran always knew Sookie pushed the deadlines. There has even been a few occasions, where the publishers were in the living room waiting, as Sookie was brushing the final keystrokes to her latest book.

"Oh a day to spare, that must be a new record" chuckled Gran. "Well you better print me a copy so I can get familiar with it. So, I'll have a chance of answering all those, twenty million questions your fans ask of me" she beamed, excited to get her mitts on Sookie's latest work.

"Gran it isn't getting too much for you being Charlanie Harris, is it? I mean things have just gone crazy lately and now with the TV show and all the interviews. I am kinda starting to feel bad, for ya," Sookie asked, feeling guilty for the burden her Gran carried for her.

"Now you listen to me Susannah Stackhouse, I love being Charlanie Harris. Have you seen the hotel room's they put me up in? You got nothing to feel guilty about, read my mind you can see the truth of my words." Gran abashed her.

"Oh God No, No...... I would never invade your privacy like that" Sookie looked stricken. When Sookie was little she had been a nightmare child, violent outburst, screaming fits at one point she had even been diagnosed with a psychotic break. At seven she came to live with her Gran in Northern Louisiana far from her parents' home in California.

Gran discovered Sookie could read thoughts and was highly empathic so much so that if strong emotions were around her, she would take them on as her own. Adele worked hard to help Sookie maintain her sanity. At the age of ten Adele had to home schooled her; as it was too difficult for Sookie to be around others with her ability.

Sookie's life changed dramatically, when at the age of sixteen she created an alternative universe for an English assignment her Gran had set her. A universe, where she would belong and be accepted, not the only freak on the block as Sookie put it. The first chapters where so good, that Gran encouraged her to write more. The more Sookie wrote the more she was able to control her ability. Her writing became an outlet, and a place where she could dream.

After a few months Adele took what Sookie had written to a publisher friend who worked for Orion books, he loved what he read. Assuming that, what he had read had been written by Adele and not her Sixteen year old granddaughter, he offered her a contract there and then.

Adele and Sookie had stayed up all night debating what to do, but none could have imagined the success that now seemed to rule there's lives. In the end they decided that none of them would have written the work, they created Charliane Harris. That had been ten years ago.

Sookie name the writer Charliane Harris as a dig to the Doctor who had wanted her to be medicated and locked up. When the reality was that, Dr Harris had multiple personalities and was nuttier than a fruit cake. So no wonder Sookie looked like she was having a psychotic break whenever she was in the presents of Dr Harris. But it was Dr Harris that made Gran see that the problem may be something more in the realms of the metaphysical. Gran had read Tarot since she was five, her mother had been a healer and read tea leaves. Her son Corbett had shown no signs of anything metaphysical, her daughter Linda only a limited ability.

Sookie's aunt Linda could sense the energy of a room, but not much more. However Hadley, had been deeply disturbed when she hit her teens. Voices of the dead plagued her every waking moment, in the end Hadley had self medicated with drugs. Gran had no idea Hadley had suffered so, it wasn't until she had been already lost to them through drugs. Gran had found out the extent of Hadley's gift. Sookie was mad at Hadley and Linda, they caused her Gran so much pain. If they just had been honest. If there was one thing Sookie hated, it was liar. Sookie lost count of the times they had been asked if they had any metaphysical abilities, so Gran could have helped.

"Well, the offer to read my mind is there. Soo, does that mean you are now taking visitors again? As I have had Amelia here every day, hoping to get her best friend back." smiled Gran.

"Yeah, you know it. Urgh can't wait to get outside feel like I been coupe up here forever. Has Amelia been okay I mean, I have not seen her for three, what four weeks? Is she mad at me?"

" It's been five weeks! You're kidding right? That girl thinks you walk on water ever since you killed off her lying, cheating ex-husband's name sake in your last book."

Sookie giggled, remembering how over the moon Amelia had been, when the character Tray had been tortured to near death then stabbed to death. Sookie had to take a herbal remedy after that to calm down from the empathic high Amelia's emotions had put her on. ' I LOOOOOVED how you made that son of a bitch suffer, my only regret is that _your_ Amelia character didn't get to cut his balls off ' she had said.

Amelia was a miracle in Sookie's eyes. Sookie's first and only friend. Up until Amelia, Sookie had to make do with her make believe Tara. Amelia had come for a tarot reading with her Gran six years ago now. Gran had been running late that night. As a result; it had been up to Sookie to play hostess. They hit it off immediately and the rest they say is history.

Sookie made a motion, to leave to see Amelia. "You are not going to see anybody little Miss till you sort yourself out."

"WHAT?"

"Don't you, what me, when was the last time you showered? shaved even?" When Gran said shaved she lifted up an arm to expose the jungle growing under there. "Urgh, you are a mess. What would your Viking say if he could see you now? You are sooo not the hygienic Sookie you portray in the books..... off to the shower with ya. "

Sookie blushed. "Gran the Viking is not real, you do know that, don't you? I wish he was real but alas, no. And you know when I am writing, I lose all sense of time. Normally I manage to shower just fine, everyday sometimes even twice a day," Sookie was starting to get on her high horse.

"I know dear. Now off to the shower and I'll have Amelia book the spa so you girls can relax and something can get done about your eyebrows and your roots," Chuckled Gran.

Gran felt a pang of regret bring up the Viking. Of course Sookie wanted a love of her own. But impossible, to go out in public she even had to wear gloves as barrier between her and the world. Gran sent a silent prayer that her granddaughter would find love and if there where Vampires, and Sookie could indeed not read their minds or feel their emotions to send one to her.

Quickly showering, grooming herself, she looked in the mirror. _Yes that will do nicely, 'fit to return to society' _she thought. After finishing a book it had become a bit of a ritual, scrub of the grim of being locked in a room- off, then the spa followed by shopping and a slap up meal, where Amelia would get shit faced and flirt with girls. Sookie had written in the 'Amelia Pam fling' into one of her books; in an attempt to get Amelia to admit she was bisexual at the very least- but no prize. Sookie didn't drink, because of her ability- _just too bad_ she thought.

On the way into town Amelia talked excitedly about her newly discovered obsession FanFiction. Sookie wasn't really sure what she felt about people hijacking her characters. But if just one person out there was like her and found comfort in her world she had created, well who was she to put a stop to that. If it got people writing, well that couldn't be a bad thing either, right? Amelia was currently prattling on about vampire babies, 'Sookie' having sex with multiple partners.

"Okay Amelia, I get that FanFiction is a smut mutts wet dream and that Alan Ball shouldn't have killed off the character Godric. But I don't understand why you're so obsessed with it." Sookie grumped.

"You should read some, it's way cool," Amelia enthused.

"You know I can't, I don't want anything to influence my writing like that. But why the obsession? Make me understand..... cause to me well, it'd kinda creepy all these people making my characters do all sorts."

"Well that's just it, you created this group of people with a dynamic. Others have taken that and changed maybe one thing which results in a totally different story. Or they change everything and keep the character dynamic...... I guess my obsession comes from seeing what people come up, some of it, is so cool."

"You mean like ripples in a pond, how different life could be if one thing changed. Like if my Gran had been on time for you appointment we wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet, as I wouldn't have stepped out of the study that night." Sookie commented.

"Yeah like that, I like seeing what ripples other people make. But yours are always the best," she grinned like a chestier cat. "Aw chuck's I am your number one fan" Amelia put on a funny voice. "I luuve you" she continued in her funny voice batting her eyelashes.

"You're not right in the head," Sookie grinned at her best friend.

"Oh next you'll be calling me a witch" Amelia mock huffed. Both women giggled like little girls. Soon Sookie pulled the cherry red corvet into the parking lot for the spa. The corvet had been a gift from Alan Ball and HBO. It was great gift as long as she didn't think about what they had done to her beloved Viking. Alex was certainly easy on the eye, but Sookie prayed for season three to be more favourable to her best loved character. She could smell blood in the water, if Eric wasn't redeemed soon.

"Let's get pampered, you should go back to your natural blond Sooks, the light brown is pretty it works great with you're eyes....." Amelia trailed off seeing Sookie didn't look too impressed.

"BUT.... just get to the 'but', Amelia" Sookie, cut to the chase.

"But you know, what they say blonds have more fun," Amelia waggled her eyebrow as they stepped through the door to their favourite spa.

"That's the whole point of the brown, I can't have randoms touching me. I am less noticeable as a brunette."

"Have you touched every guy out there? Well? How do you know that mister right isn't out there? Mr touchable."

"I know you don't want me to be the oldest virgin out there, hell knows I would rather have a sex life with something that wasn't powered by battery's. But that's, not possible so drop it. Your killing my happy mood."

"Kk..... so no blond then.... not even a little bit?" Amelia smiled cheekily.

"Some blond highlights, will that keep you happy?" Sookie asked grinning.

"Done"

The day progressed into the night, shopping had been lots of fun, even with Amelia practically launching herself at a shop assistant for trying to touch Sookie. Tradition dictates they bought new underwear and new outfits complete with shoes. Which they changed into and wore to the restaurant Marcel's. Amelia was half way through her bottle of champagne before the food arrived. Sookie just shook her head as Amelia eyed the blond co owner. Samantha had been Sookies inspiration behind Pam. Samantha had effortless elegance, she was snotty to the point of being rude. But over the years, coming here she had warmed to Sookie. Sookie knew from her thoughts she was really into girls and would love to take Amelia out and do all kinds of nasty stuff to her.

Amelia just need to get over herself, Sookie thought. The food as always was fantastic, dessert was decadent. Well fed and watered they bid Samantha a good nite much to the envious glances of some of the other patrons. They were all wondering, what made them so important that Samantha would actually give them the time of day.

As they approached the car Amelia grabbed Sookie's arm forcefully "ouch...what the..." yelped Sookie.

"Shooting star," yelled Amelia with a slight slur. "I wish you meet your Viking, he pops your cherry good and makes you walk like John Wayne for a week. Loves you and take cares of you" she all but shouted.

Sookie was mortifed, as this part of town was quite busy "Shhh.... Amelia, oh my God I can't believe you. Did you really need two Sambuca's at the end of the meal, your worse than usual," Sookie couldn't stay mad at Amelia, as she was too funny when she was drunk. "Shhh!" said Amelia in exaggerated maner. "Sookie" she whispered loudly.

"What?"

"What would you wish for?" Amelia continued to whisper as she tip toed to the car, like her whole body had to be quite. Sookie laughed at her crazy friend.

"I wish Sookie in my books where dead, so I could have a life; maybe meet said Viking and walk like John Wayne be crazy in love and be loved" Sookie said wistfully, "Oh and I wish you would just get over your homophobia find your own Pam, and do all kinds of nasty stuff," Sookie giggled.

"I am not gay" Amelia tried to look offended but she was so drunk she looked constipated. Sookie just laughed, opening the doors to the corvet fumbling with the CD player.

"Well this is for you Ame's" Sookie giggle watching Amelia trying to put her seat belt on, missing the slot each time on the account that Amelia could see two slots for the belt. The CD player sprang to life. The dulcet tone of Katy Perry came on. Soon both women where singing along "I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT" at the top of their voices.

Ten minutes in to the drive home, thick fog covered the road ahead making it almost impossible to see, Sookie slowed the car to crawl along the road. Through the fog they became aware of a bright blue white light. Sookie slowed even more, but it was too late whatever the white light was it was coming right for them. Both girls screamed, the car spun wildly in circles. Skidding to a complete stop.

Sookie looked over at Amelia, both women in a state of shock "You okay?" Managed, Sookie in a breathless pant. Amelia's responds was opening the car door and upchucking. Sookie's heart thudded wildly in her chest. _Deep breaths, deep breaths_ Sookie told herself. Gingerly Sookie got out of her car, her legs shaking as she looked around. They were by the side of the road surrounded by trees, only the bit of road didn't look familiar. _Shit_, her front tyre was blown. It was eerily quite apart from the sounds of Amelia retching. "Ame's you okay?" Sookie asked.

"Do I sound okay?" She snarked.

"Tell me if there's anything I can do, there's a sign back there I am going to look at it. To I figure out where the bloody hell we are and call for help. My front tire is blown."

"Change of underwear would be nice, fuck Sookie that was intense. All I could think about was I never got to kiss a girl and see if I liked it" Amelia blurted out, clearly still in shock.

Sookie giggle mainly nervous tension. "I'll be back in two ticks" she called over her shoulder, she hugged herself as she walked to the sign. Feeling really ill at ease, as if something was terribly wrong, but she could quite put her finger on it. She was almost at the sign when a huge black Escalade swerved round the corner, nearly hitting her. Sookie screamed, clutching her heart for the fear it would jump out her throat.

The huge car screeched to a halt. A small blond woman and an even shorter dark haired woman stepped out of the Escalade. If it were possible for Sookie's eyes to get any bigger, they would have. Strapped on the, dark hair woman's back was a huge sword. Her face looked like it belonged on an ancient roman coin. The blond was making huge strides towards her. Sookie was about to speak when the blond beat her too it.

"Fucking Human's, I should just drain you dry," she snarled.

"EXCUSE ME," this woman was dressed as some Vampire wanna be, Sad. All black goth with her hair in some elaborate up do. Clearly gone crazy with the make up, the white base she was wearing practically glowed, Sookie thought.

"What are you doing on the road all by yourself?" she asked in a bored tone.

Everything felt surreal, Sookie pointed at the sign "I was just going to look at the sign" her eyes like saucers. The blonde was right in front of her, she picked up her long brown hair. Stared intently at her, her nostrils flared. Her face looked unsure. "It say's thanks for visiting Bon Temps," said the blond.

Sookie grimaced, "Is that a joke? Because if it is, it's not very funny." Her mind was going to ten to the dozen. Who was this woman? How did she know about her writing the Charlaine Harris book's. Bon Temps just lived in the pages of her book and in her imagination. She made it up.

"Sookie?" the blond woman looked lost as she asked, "is that you?"

"Yes, how do you know my name? I don't know you" She slowly backed up a few feet till she reached the sign, glancing up at the sign it said 'Thanks for visiting Bon Temp's'. OH God I must be dreaming or I hit my head, thought Sookie as she franticly checked her head for injury.

"It's Pam, how is this possible?" the blond asked, hands out in front of her as if she would spook Sookie causing her to run. But as Sookie caught sight of the fangs coming from the blond called Pam all she could see was the road coming towards her faster.

"Pamela, I am not interested in what you found at the side of the road" growled a deep voice. Sookie came too, looking around she was on a dark leather couch, in an office. Shelves with a mixture of liquor bottles and boxes of paper work adorned one wall. There was a desk and a huge leather office chair behind it, two chairs In front of it. "Master, Please she's in your office, she passed out" the voices seemed to come from beyond the door. Sookie spotted her purse.

Quietly she reached for it, plucking out the 'Firestar' hand gun. She was grateful her gloves were still on as she didn't need to pick up any residual emotions from the strange place she was in. Gently she clicked the safety off.

"I don't need your help finding a woman, especially not ones that you have picked up from the side of the road." The male voice now sounded more annoyed than ever.

"Well, if you don't want her can I keep her? I think I'll bond with her. I was going to keep her friend but I'll take them both." said the female voice, just behind the door. Sookie shook her head, what the hell was going on here.

"Child, you are trying my patience. I don't want a filthy Fangbanger, ENOUGH!"

"SHE NOT A FANGBANGER, COULD YOU JUST TAKE A LOOK, " shouted the female voice. The sound breaking wood, hell even walls breaking sounded, followed seconds later by, "Master I meant no disrespect, you will want this one, I am only trying to make you happy."

Sookie had heard enough she needed to get out of here, she had entered the fucking twilight zone. These people, were mental. Behind the desk set high into the wall was small windows, too high to climb out off. She checked her cell it seemed to have no signal. The office phone on the desk lay smashed. Her heart thudded in her chest like something that was caged and was desperate to be freed. She was trapped and she could feel the fear rising in her.

"What's that smell?" boomed the male voice.

"The Human I brought you, it's delectable is it not. She is awake and scared just like you used to like them." Said the female voice, she sound teasing.

Sookie was not going to be some victim, oh no siree. She made sure she had a bullet in the chamber. She slowed her breathing and pointed the gun at the door with both hands on the gun, she relaxed her grip allowing the blood to flow to her fingers once again. She hadn't realised how tight she been holding the gun.

"Well a look, wouldn't hurt" Sookie heard the male voice say, she took a deep breath to steady herself. The door to the office swung open. There stood the most handsome man Sookie had ever seen. He was dressed in black jeans a black wife beater top, that clung to every inch of his glorious toned, sexy body. He had the most beautiful intense blue eyes and shoulder length blond hair. Had she not dyed her own, Sookie thought it would almost be the exacted same colour as hers was naturally. But that's not what struck her the most, what struck her the most; was that this was how she imagined her Viking to look, only this was better. Yum.

She stared slacked jawed at him and he at her. Then his eyes flicked to her gun, suddenly she remembered that she was in a strange office and no sign of Amelia. She looked at the gun, then back up to the blond man and the woman called Pam.

"Don't anyone fucking move, where is Amelia and my corvet?" Sookie sounded a lot more confident than she felt.

"Amelia?" the blond man asked looking over at the woman called Pam, "She was in a cherry red corvet just like yours, only she doesn't remember me either, don't ask me how it's possible" said Pam.

"Hello.... FYI, I am the one with the gun, my friend Amelia, get her NOW," Sookie snarled.

The blond Adonis looked amused, Sookie's core clenched as he smirked._ Can you get Stockholm syndrome this quickly _Sookie wondered to herself. Stockholmsyndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon where in hostages express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, well that's how wiki would define it.

"Go ahead ask her, her name?" smirked Pam to the blond man. The man cocked an eyebrow.

"You already know my name bitch, so how about you do what I ask before I start shooting" Sookie responded wondering why they looked so calm when she had a gun pointed at them.

"Wow, it's like her, only not. You know how to use that little girl?" the man gestured towards the gun, his voice dripped with pure sex. Oh lordy.

"At this range I won't miss, but if you don't believe me pick a bottle," Sookie answered confidently. Being able to hear people's thoughts hadn't endeared the population to her, not one bit. She bought a gun, learned how to shot and to shot well. People were sick fuckers, period. Sookie knew better than anyone there was a tiny thin line that could make people snap. When that line snapped she fully intended to make damn sure she was armed.

"Jack Daniel's" called the woman.

Seconds later the Jack Daniels shattered spilling amber liquid down the shelf, Sookie already had the gun pointed back at the couple in the door way. She was grateful to be able to shoot something as she had been getting cramp in her trigger finger.

"Impressive, Miss...." said the blonde man.

" It's **Ms** Stackhouse..... now that we have introduced ourselves mind getting my friend and we'll be off" snapped Sookie, she was getting more and more pissed off by the second. Most people would be scared to have gun shoved in their face, but not these two yahoo's.

"So you know who I am?" the man asked.

"No and I don't care. Now you listen to me _buddy_, tell your flunky she's got one minute to get my friend Amelia before I stick a bullet in your head." Sookie didn't have to keep her voice steady anymore as by now she was TICK OFF. How the blond man had longed to be called buddy, many nights he would have given anything to hear that again. It's funny when you lose someone dear to you, you expect to miss all the good stuff. But the reality is you miss, the negative stuff just as much, maybe even more so.

"Buddy, buddy..... Sookie is that really you?" suddenly this big powerful man looked lost, small even if that were possible.

"Don't call me that, only my friends get to call me that. I don't know you. Now back up...... are you people slow or something? GET MY FRIEND ..... LET ME LEAVE, simple enough for ya?" she gestured with the gun as she spoke. Her mind screaming; _what the bloody hell is going on?_

"May I smell you?" asked the man.

"You want to sniff me like some fucking animal..... you people are nuts....." but before she could finish the blond man, moved in a blur. He had fangs. FANGS? Sookie fired at point blank range, two maybe three shots before she fainted.

Sookie's eye lids fluttered open, she felt like she was floating there was buzz of voices far away. When her eyes had fully opened she looked up to the face of a blond man, she'd seen him before but it was hazy, fuzzy. She felt drunk but she didn't drink. Did she? No she was certain she didn't drink.

"You look like Eric, but only sexier," she slurred on her little cloud of bliss, _where I am?_ she though. Looking around she seemed to be in a bed room.

"I am, Eric...... We had to give you something to keep you calm. What are you? Are you really her?," he whispered, the last bit as if the words caused him pain.

"You are not Eric, Eric is not real..... I made him up." she smiled and answered dreamily, lifting her hand to her face, looking at her fingers. "I've got fingers...there cool. Oh My! My gloves are gone.... mus.... mustn't be without them, that would be bad. Very bad." Sookie struggled to get up, but was gently held down.

"Why would that be bad, Sookie?" he asked patiently.

"Oh..... you wouldn't believe me- silly. Mustn't tell anyone Shhh!," she smiled, as her eyes rolled slightly.

"What mustn't you tell anyone?" he asked, smiled reassuringly.

"I am an empath, I need the gloves so I won't get infected by other people's emotions. Also I can read people's minds and sometimes I see how they die, in really, really, really scary visions. Or I know stuff about them. I am a freak, my family are all freaks, freaky freaky freeeeeaky" she almost sang at the end.

"Shh, you not a freak, that's quite a lot of gifts you have there," he smiled at her, processing all that she had said, this Sookie seemed to have even more powers. As he gazed at the woman laying on his bed, he was overcome with sadness. His precious Sookie had died four years ago along with her friend Amelia, killed by Dermot her own great uncle. He had killed her at first light by the time he could get to her, it was too late to turn her. Now this strange woman who looked like Sookie, only she had brown hair and his Sookie had been a bit slimmer. But this woman smelt like a fair maiden. She smelt almost like the first time he had met his Sookie .

Gifts? do they have receipt? can I take them back get something better" Sookie laughed at her own joke.

"Lover, why does it say Susannah on your driver's license when your name is Sookie?" he asked, he could have kicked himself for calling her Lover.

"Lover, I am not your lover..... that something the Viking sex god would say. Shhhh, I am virgin on the account, I am a freak. Men especially make me sick, I can totally throw up everywhere sometimes their emotions and thoughts are soooo disgusting." Her eye's wide she flung her arms wide hitting him on the arm. "Opps" she giggled.

"Hey, I can't hear you!" she suddenly said looking shocked, trying to keep her eyes focused. She tried to grab him but missed. The difficulty being, she couldn't quite focus.

He took her hand holding it to his face. Desperately wanting it to be his Sookie , "Oh my God why can't I feel you? This is amazing, your face is feels so nice." She grinned.

"I feel funny, like I am swimming in honey. This bed is soft, like your face" she slurred.

"Susannah?"

"Yes, you have pretty eye's...... I think I crashed my car, oh man I love that car!" smirked Sookie.

"What do you remember before your tire blew on your car?" he asked

"Eric?"

"Yes"

"I don't think this is real life...... I would like it, if you kiss me," blushed Sookie, thinking this couldn't be real life so she might as well make the most of it.

"I would very much like to kiss you, but I won't take advantage off you" he said scenting her arousal, _Odin please have mercy on me_, Eric thought. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside of her and have her call his name.

"What kinda dream is this? This blows...... I can't get laid even in my own dream. My life sucks!" she wailed.

Eric picked up a salty tear popping it in his mouth. Mmm. "Master, I am sorry to disturb you but Thalia found these...... they are most unnerving," Spoke Pam in Swedish.

She handed him a stack of books, "What are they? Where did she find them?" he answered in Swedish.

"They where found in her Corvet, they are books about your Sookie, detailed accounts of her life most unflattering in some aspects. Why is she leaking?" Pam asked the last part in English.

"Pam? you think I am pretty don't you? He won't even give me a kiss....... this dream sucks, I've never been kissed." Huffed Sookied.

Pam sniggered, "Oh Master, this is hysterical. I'll kiss you sweet Sookie," Eric growled at Pam as her fangs descended. He was busy looking over the books by a Charlaine Harris.

"Oh Pam, your the best, but I want my first kiss to be with a man. Besides I wrote you to have a thing for Amelia" Sookie replied still hurt that Eric had rejected her.

"What do you mean, wrote me?" she asked.

Sookie asked, "Can you keep a secret?" Pam nodded, Eric glared at her. "I am Charlaine Harris, I created the Sookieverse when I was only sixteen. I can't even get laid by one of my own characters" Sookie roared with laughter. "How sad am I? Amelia thinks I'll be the oldest virgin in the world" her face turn sombre.

Pam looked shocked and amused all at the same time, "how do you know these details about Sookie Stackhouse?" she asked.

"I am her, I made her up but it's kinda me at the same time....... it was an escape, with me being a freak and all. You know a way for me to express myself, although I write her so stubborn to piss people off- because I can. It's my personal fuck you to the world. Do you think maybe I am lying by the side of the road bleeding to death, that's why I am hallucinating?"

"Don't be ridicules, you are safe in your bed, tell me more of Charlaine Harris" Pam continued, Eric was impressed she was getting so much out of her.

"My Gran, who I live with pretends to be Charlaine Harris, she does all the book signings gives me ideas what to do with my characters. Not much to tell. I write like a son of a bitch and then take fab trips abroad, tan- it's my only vice, well that and reading. I just finished my new book today- woo hoo."

"Master, these books can't be found on any website or data base, I had Bill look into it. What kinda of magic is this? Where is this Sookie from?" Pam asked Eric.

"Oooo Bill, Eric doesn't like him, hell half the world doesn't like him. But they don't understand him..... he's the patsy, the poor guy that's never gets it right because he hates what he is and doesn't believe in himself, therefore lies to get what he wants. Which works for a while, then when it's toooooo late he gets it! finally understands. I love him, I'd bet he would kiss me." Sookie tried to get up, but her body just wouldn't fully co operate.

"That's a pretty accurate description of Bill- Fool" Eric said

"Don't get your panties in wad, big boy. You get the girl!" Sookie laughed.

Pam openly laughed, "Oh my God, she's a hoot! " she became more serious "Her companion, was extremely intoxicated. Wanted to know if I kissed a girl and liked it? Also if I had any cherry chapstick? Kept repeating Sookie, shouldn't be on her own and it's not safe for strange people to touch her. Blah blah blah." Pam added.

"Touch her, Pam" Eric said

"oh masters, how I longed for you to share, do you wish to watch?" Pam said moved to the side of the bed.

"Not like that, just hold her hand" Eric still engrossed in the books, learning several things. He had no idea Sookie had been such a complex person, how much she had resented his world. She had even thoughts about having both him and Bill at the same time, he was shocked. Didn't stop his cock from straining in his pants. Regretting deeply he'd not pushed her more sexually.

"Noo, don't touch me" Sookie begged, Pam grabbed her arm in a vice like grip, Sookie struggled as much as she could.

"I can't hear you, I can't feel you," Sookie's joy was short lived, as she froze, image after image came to her in a rush. Sookie screamed, till there was no more air in her lungs. Pam dropped her arm immediately, Sookie scrambled to the opposite corner of the bed. Hugging her knees to her, she rocked trying to comfort her self. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay she mumbled again and again, staring blankly.

Eric looked at Pam, Pam looked at Eric. She had not a clue to what had just happened. "Sookie, it's Eric are you okay?" he asked.

"It's not real, it's not real," she repeated over and over again. "Gran I need my pills.....Gran, Please" she sobbed, the please barely a whisper. "Please make it stop, please Gran" the sobs where come in dry heaves.

"Eric?" Pam asked.

"I believe she just had a psychic vision, Sookie?" Eric spoke softly shifting his weight on the bed and crawled towards her. Taking her in his arms he held her tight, breathing in her wonderful scent. May be the gods had been kind to him this night and given him a second chance.

"Sookie, hush it's okay. I am not going to let anything happen to you, I promise. Your safe here, everything gonna be okay" he assured her, Pam cocked an immaculate eye brow at her maker. She hoped that this was not some, witches at work or some other magic. She truly hoped with her whole being that their Sookie had come back to them, it didn't matter how. If this was a trick hell it's self would not be a safe enough place to hide, from her makers wrath, she would not be far behind.

Sookie seemed to calm, in Eric's grip. He was rubbing soothing circles on her back. Pam remembered, back to a time when Eric had done the same to her, in her early years when she was weak and still sought comfort. Hopefully Eric would see sense this time and just turn her. She smiled at the thought of a new sister; perhaps she would become a maker too and turn Amelia. Food for thought as they say, Pam stored her mental ponderings away for later.

"Pam?" Sookie weakly asked.

"Yes, can't you see I am busy. That fool Compton didn't know Sookie was a virgin, how could he not smell that? Asshat" Pam had her nose stuck in the Dead until Dark book. "I am surprised Sookie even wanted sex after that, I am flabbergasted she let him near her again."

"Well he's no Viking, that's for sure" Sookie blushed profusely realizing what she had just said and to whom. Could this get any more fucked up, she thought. Was she really in a room with two of her fictional characters? or had she finally lost the plot? (pun intended) and had that psychotic break after all. _I am dying or mad,_ it can't be anything else. It could be both.

Pam laughed, even Eric chuckled Sookie just laughed too if she was crazy she might as well have fun. Suddenly it wasn't funny anymore. Sookie looked into Eric's eyes, her breath caught. She became aware of her own heart beat, thundering in her chest. Eric large hand cupped her face, then his lips were on her. She moaned against them. His tongue darted into her mouth duelling with hers. She moved in his lap, burning for some friction.

This movement, brought Eric to the surface of his lust that threatened to drown them both. Sookie whimpered with the lost of him "I will not take advantage of you. You are drugged, I should not have kissed you," he hissed

"I want this every bit, as much as you. Besides I am not even sure, this isn't all in my head." Sookie spoke the pain between her legs, throbbing with need. She moved closer to him, shyly she moved his hair out of his face. Searching his eyes, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He could kiss like house on fire. She couldn't hear him at all. She could not come up with one reason why this was a bad idea. He clearly wanted her, anyone could see by the bulge in his pants.

"Give me one good reason, not to. I might be laying in a pool of my own blood, by the side of the road. If I am dying, I want to go out in style- if you're really Eric Northman, you're all about style" she grinned looking up through her lashes at him.

"Pam Leave us," Eric growled.

"Sookie, I don't know what's going on? You died four years ago. You and Amelia, died. Yet here you are. I really want you...." he motioned to his straining fly on his jeans. Sookie randomly, wondered if some could lose an eye if one of those buttons were to pop right off. She couldn't help but lick her lips at the thought of what lay beneath the straining cloth.

"Shh.... you want me, I want you... what's the fucking problem?...... I never met a man I couldn't hear in my mind. You don't want me to be the oldest virgin in the world do you? Come'on help a gal out." she smiled brightly.

Eric roared with laughter, "you're a real ticket, never a dull moment." he picked up Sookie's hand, "I won't sleep with you, while you are under the influence. I won't have you angered at me because you later accuse me off taking advantage."

Sookie snatched back her hand, "whatever, you should go....."

"Urgggh! You are so fucking annoying. I was going to suggest that I give you my blood"

"Really?"

"I would always be able too....."

She cut him off "... feel me, yeah I know, I wrote it. Okay, yes, I'll take your blood" _yippee, she was going to have sex with Eric Northman,_ she thought. As hallucinations go, this was the best-oh yeah!.

"What no argument? Just yes?" Eric asked, not believing he had just offered his blood to this stranger, yet deep inside he felt, he knew her.

Sookie just smile, picked up his wrist and licked, before bitting down, Hard. Her mouth filled with sticky, sweet liquid and pulling deeply, drinking down the blood she moaned against his wrist.

"Ahhh, fuck Sookie," Eric gasped, at the surprise. Sookie could feel her head clearing. The heat between her legs was now an out of control bush fire. She took a look around, stared at the blond man in front of her, Oh God he was gorgeous. He had fangs, she reached out and traced them with her finger. When she had determined they were really, the only logical conclusion she could come to was that, this indeed was some hallucination. _In for a penny, in for a pound._ She mused.

"How do you feel?" Eric asked his voice thick and husky.

"Why don't you come over here and see," she flirted.

His eye's changed to a dark sapphire, blazed with fire; as he slowly, carefully, came over to her. Cupping her face in his large hand, she leaned into it, "I've missed you so much" he spoke.

"Mmm" Sookie responded, because she really didn't know what to say, to that. His lips crashed down on hers, she responded by moulding her body to his. In her inexperience she cut her lips on his fangs, the taste of blood blossomed in their mouths. Eric moaned as the sweet nectar hit his lips. Somehow sweeter than he remembered; but still the unmistakable taste of his beloved.

Sookie tensed at the taste of her own blood. "Relax Lover I've got you, I've got you" Eric voice was heated, rough and full of need. Sookie relaxed into his arms, drawing a deep breath into herself. Nerves bubbling up, scared she would not be able to do this, _what if she was really bad at it?_ her mind cast out random thoughts.

"Sookie what's wrong, why are you scared?" Eric asked.

"I am scared because; I've never done_ it_ before" she blushed.

"Shhh, it will be perfect, you'll be perfect. Close your eyes, just feel." He cooed.

Sookie felt a rush of air, as she closed her eyes. Music came on, low and sexy. She smiled. She felt her body more naked, in a flash her dress had been removed; leaving her only in her bra and panties. She gasped. Feather light touches stroked her body, one hand cupped her breast, easing it out of the bra. Talented fingers tweaked and flicked her nipple. "Urgh, oh God!" she moaned.

She yelped as her bra was tugged from her, "Magnificent, I love your breasts" he spoke against her skin, as his mouth descended on her bare breasts. Sookie felt dizzy at all the wonderful sensations roc king her body, "Ahhh."

Hands trailed lower, in the distance she heard a rip. Then she realised her panties were on longer covering her. Tiny kisses ghosted over her parted thighs. Sookie whimpered, she bucked her hips desperate for friction, desperate to turn the pain in her core to pleasure.

"Is this what you want, dear one?" Eric's voice hoarse with need, as he slid on finger over her slick folds.

"Oh, Yes, Yes Arghh!" she screamed as he plunged a long finger into her dripping core.

"So wet for me Lover" the scent of her arousal driving him insane with need for her. _So very, very tight, have to take my time, _he reminded himself.

He worked her with one finger, stretching her, preparing her for more. Her greedy little pussy took another finger in to her, be began lapping at her clit, he just wanted to taste her. As he did so, she arched so much that her whole back was of the bed, "Sweet Jesus, Sweet Jesus" she yelled.

"Does that feel good?"

"Oh God yes, so fucking good," she her voice rasped through the pleasure, her head began to thrash from side to side, a heaviness began to build low in her stomach and across her thigh's, she moaned and mewed as her breath increased.

"Yes, that's it come for me Sookie, come for me,"as he spoke the words were drowned in her screams as she came undone, star burst of white and gold exploded behind her eyes. Just as she was about to come back down, a sharp pain in her thigh, gave over to yet more pleasure and she was off again. Gasping for breath, her heart hammered in her chest. "Oh ..... ahhh....feeels.... so good, oh Eric, YES!"

She finally opened her eyes, as she heard a deep throaty laugh, she giggled like a loon. Unable to keep the smile off her lips. _So that's what all the fuss is all about_, she thought as she floated on her own private cloud of bliss. The orgasms she had ever experienced before that were at her own hand, there was just no comparison. In fact she wondered if all this time she had done it wrong.

Eric kissed her, chest working his way up to her neck, he lick across her pulse; causing goose bumps to break out across her flesh. Mmmm. He captured her mouth with his, taking in his time kissing her in long, lazy kisses. She laid her hands on his chest discovering it was bare. Yum. His arousal pressed against her stomach as he rocked back and forth, to the rhythm of their kissing.

"I want you, Sookie" he whispered into her ear.

"I want you too, inside me, I need you" she answered.

"Mmm, I'll be gentle, as much as I can, my need for you is just so...."

"I know, please I want this, I know it will hurt but all I can think right now is how much I want to feel you inside me" Sookie urged.

"Fuck, you're going to be the death of me" he rasped. "Look at me, Lover look at me"

She could feel him rubbing himself along her fold coating his rock hard arousal in her juices, "Relax, I've got you, this is going to feel so good Sookie, I promise"

Sookie gulped as she looked into his eyes, "I am ready."

He pushed forward, gently. "Ahh" pushing himself inch by inch into her wet, tight core. Her eyes watered, as he filled her up, scared he would lose control and hurt her. He wanted so badly to fuck her hard and fast. She moan as he pushed those last few inches, he kissed the tears that had collected at the corners on her eyes. "Your prefect, I am going to make you feel so good" he spoke.

As she adjusted to his size, the tight pain gave over to a deep pleasure. She move her hips just gently never taking her eyes of him. He took this as his cue to move inside her, slowly at first he slid in and out of her. As she moaned in approval, he deepened his thrusts. Oh God he felt so good, with each thrust the pleasure was building

"Shit, Sookie....this is the best, you are the best" Eric called as he built up tempo. His cock slid in and out of her tight opening. In and out, in and out. "Oh Oh Mmmm" she moved her hands over his ass gabbing big handfuls as the pleasure built to dizzying heights.

"Iam....Ahhhhhhhh Eriiiic!" yelled Sookie as her back arched, her core clenched sending her coming like a freight train. Causing the Viking to meet his own good time, spilling his seed deep inside her as he shouted in his native tongue.

_I must have been a good girl, because I must have died at the side of the road and gone to heaven_, Sookie thought _Hallelujah._

"That was....."

"Yes it was" she smiled, kissing his shoulder.

"You 're are, officially de flowered" smirked Eric. Sookie blushed, hiding her face in his chest. Eric nudged her chin up wards with his nose. "Don't hide yourself from me lover. Now that was making love.... now I am going to show you fucking" he smiled.

"Oh Boy, yikes. You can't be serious." She giggled all breathy.

"Serious? Of course I am serious, I take sex very seriously. I couldn't possibly allow you to leave this bed till you have had a full education. It all part of the service ma'am" he laughed, burying his head in her neck, causing her to giggle and squeal.

Fuck her he did, on the chest of drawers, against the wall, in the shower then he made slow sweet love to her, leaving her in a content and sated asleep on the bed, just before dawn.

The next afternoon Sookie woke to a sharp rapping on the door. For a few seconds she wondered where she was, then she remembered, smiling. She winced at the delicious soreness between her legs. _Hot damn._

She was pulled out of her mental ponderings by rap on the door again, "Sookie, you in there girl? It's Amelia hun."

"Come on in, doors open I think?" Sookie yelled at the direction of the door.

Amelia's thoughts hit her at a hundred miles an hour, "Sweetie what's wrong?" asked Sookie.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? Fuck Sookie.... Oh my God.... I think I fucked a girl last night and had the best orgasm of my fucking life. Sweet Jesus, I am a dyke..... she left me a note saying she'll see me tonight.... we are in a strange fucking house. Oh God did I mention I think I drank too much and FUCKED a GIRL!" Amelia despaired, yelling the last part.

"Okay, take a deep breath. First off, I don't think dyke is a very PC term. If you had the best orgasm of your life, couldn't have been all bad, right?" Sookie scooted deeper under the covers, worried that she would set her friend of again.

"That's just the problem, I fucking loved it....... oh sweet Jesus, mother Mary and Joseph's. I mean I was drunk, I keep thinking it couldn't have been that good right? Right?"

"May be, it was just that good. You gonna find out, sober?" asked Sookie. Inside doing the happy dance, Amelia moved from disastrous relationship to disastrous relationship. Sookie had long suspected it was because Amelia really batted for the other team.

"You know, I think I am ...... so how was your night?" Amelia asked.

Sookie grinned like Chester cat that had got the cream and won the lottery.

"Shit Sookie, what?..... oh lordy, I know that look" Amelia exclaimed.

"Well let's just say John Wayne has got nothing on me" she squealed with the biggest smile Amelia had ever seen on her best friend's face.

* * *

So what do you think..... please review and let me know...... Good bad indifferent REVIEW, REVIEW damn it just Review..... let me know, if you want more..... although it won't be till i Finished DEAD AND BACK AGAIN STORY....... JoXxx Love you guys...... Xxx Thanks for Reading.


	2. Harriet Pornstar

***Sookie's Wish***

**CH2**

**

* * *

**

"_Shit Sookie, what?... oh lordy, I know that look," Amelia exclaimed._

"_Well let's just say John Wayne has got nothing on me" she squealed with the biggest smile Amelia had ever seen on her best friend's face. _

_

* * *

_

"OHMIGOD" squealed Amelia. "Details...I need a name...oh fuck, ohmigod, you whore!" Amelia grinned like crazy while jumping up and down on her corner of the bed.

"Whore, If you had seen me last night girl, you don't know how true that is," exclaimed Sookie with a huge shit eating grin. "It was great," Sookie yelled thrusting both arms in the air.

"So what's his name? take it this is his house," Amelia pushed.

Sookie blushed, took a deep breath here goes, yes I am just going to tell her I fucked my fictional character and let the chips fall where they may. "Well the thing is... sweetie, oh Lord I don't know how to say this so I am just gonna close my eyes and blurt it out kay?" Sookie finally said, Amelia just nodded, wondering what the big deal was. Secretly in the back of her mind she prayed the big deal wasn't that her best friend had fucked her ex husband Tray as things where a little hazy last night, _please lord don't let it be him._

Sookie closed her eyes, "I know this sounds like I've had a mental breakdown but it was Eric Northman, Vampire... and I've got the fang marks to prove it and it was awesome, better than awesome, fucking -mind -Blow-ing." Slowly Sookie open her eyes.

"Oh thank God I thought you were going to say Tray or something equally bad for minute," Amelia let out a sigh of relief.

"Amelia, did you just hear what I said? Eric...Vampire...Hello, bestie trying not to freak out, here,"

"Eric Northman? As in your character Eric Northman, as in sexy bad ass Vampire sheriff Eric Northman or Alexander Scarsgard the hawt hawt Swedish actor?" Amelia finally registering what Sookie said.

"If you trying to go for the record of how many times you can say Eric Northman one sentence you've got to be a contender. I don't what is going on but I swear to you he was a Vampire and he said his name was Eric Northman. He was everything and more I wrote him to be. I think I died in that car crash we had."

"Okay, I don't feel so bad telling you the woman I was with last night was Pam, Vampire too. Fuck. So what, we are both dead? And this is...what exactly? It can't be heaven as...well, I am not exactly what you would call a good girl. Not unless you racked up enough karma points for both of us," Amelia countered.

"I got no Idea, all I know is I had the best fucking time of my life last night... but how else can you explain that my fictional characters are walking, talking and giving us the best orgasms of our lives," Sookie asked, her mind busy coming up with possible scenarios.

"Good point, so this is not real?" Amelia asked.

"How can it be, maybe I am in a coma?" Sookie thought out aloud.

"Naw, then I couldn't be here, it's not like we can both be in a coma both sharing the same...what? dream? That's too fucking twilight zone,"

"So we are dead? Heaven, limbo... if it's hell... I've just sold my soul and the devil himself made me cum like fifty times," Joked Sookie.

"What do you remember last night?" Amelia asked looking thoughtful and that's just what she was. Sookie could tell by her thoughts as they were going ten to the dozen.

Sookie informed her of all she could remember, about night last night, including the wish they both made.

"It could be that it was something we both had in our subconscious brains when we died... but you do know what this means don't you, if we are really dead dontcha?" Amelia grinned a wicked grin.

"What does it mean?" Sookie asked, keeping out of Amelia's thoughts.

"We can do whatever we damn well please... not like it's real!" Amelia smiled, her eyes glittered with mischief.

Sookie let this sink in for a few moments, slowly a wicked grin of her own crept up on her face. "I've always wanted to say just what the hell and do whatever I wanted... and fuck the consequences. You know tell a nosey bitch she _**is a**_ nosey bitch and such like."

"I know just what you mean, just to say like it is. We are going to rock this place, where ever the fuck it is," Amelia laughed. "Get your ass in the shower Viking humper, we've got a world to shake..."

Sookie punched Amelia in the arm, "Ouch, that really fucking hurt," Amelia scowled.

"Sorry," Sookie hugged her best friend. Glad that they were dead together, maybe dead?... well that was, till a better explanation came along.

"It's okay but Damn girl that hurt, you could do damage with that. Now go on get...you stink of one day old sex... so git your John Wayne ass in that shower you big slut," Amelia laughed as she teased.

When Sookie, finish luxuriating in the decadent shower she was pleased to see someone had brought in all her purchases from yesterdays shopping trip. She was thinking you must get to take what you die with, with you and she was also thinking that she was glad she splurged yesterday. But she really kicked herself that she didn't get that super cute dress she had been on the fence on.

She dressed in a pair of form fitting dark designer jeans, a mink coloured blouse that looked gold in certain lights. The colour made her eyes look brighter, she finished with new gold hoops she had bought. Slipping on some new Manolo's wishing she had gone crazy and bought the purse to match. She spun round when she heard a wolf whistle, to see Amelia standing in the door way.

"Bow chicca wow wow," Amelia sang.

"You like?" Sookie, arched a perfect eyebrow at her friend.

"Very much," a deep voice answered.

"Eric," Sookie's breath caught. Amelia's jaw dropped as Eric passed her headed towards Sookie, grabbing her and planting a big kiss on her, "Lover," he spoke into her mouth.

"AMELIA... we can see you in the mirror you know," Sookie said laughing, taking in Amelia making grabbing motions towards Eric's ass.

"Damn girl, when you write an ass you write an ass. Fuck I just want to grab it and bite it...their fucking buns of steel," Amelia continued staring at Eric's ass, Eric just quirked his eye brow at Sookie.

"Hey don't look at me, it's a great ass," Sookie grinned. Eric smirked, looking amused.

Pam appeared next to Amelia, causing her to yelp. That made, Pam look like the cat that ate the cannery. "Amelia" she said in a voice that dripped with sex, she brushed the hair of Amelia's neck and licked along the length it. Sookie was the first to whimper thoroughly turned on by seeing the blond Vampire with her best friend.

"Sookie," Eric said sharply.

"What? That was freaking hot... you can't tell me that was not hot," Sookie defended herself.

Eric looked shocked at her then back to Pam who sniggered. "So hot," gasped Amelia, who swallowed down her immediate arousal made all the more difficult when Pam pinched one of her nipples now erect nipples.

"Stop looking at me like that, it's the twenty first century. Girl on girl action is hot, doesn't make me want to go all lesbo, so don't get your panties in a wad Eric," snapped Sookie.

Pam actually giggled, "Master, I didn't think it was possible but I think I like this one is better. Certainly more entertaining."

"We were wondering if you ladies would like to accompany us to the club tonight?" Eric asked smoothly changing the subject.

"**Fangtasia!"** both girls said in unison, then laughed.

Eric nodded, not getting what all the excitement was about. "Yeah that would be great, but we kinda need something to eat first," Sookie replied.

"Yeah, I neeeed food," Amelia agreed.

"I have something you can eat, all night and you won't get fat," Pam said in a sultry voice. Sookie choked and Amelia went bright red. "Pam," Eric growled.

"Come on gramps, let's hit the road," Sookie giggled taking Eric by the arm.

"Gramps?" Pam said, looking amused at Eric.

"Yeah you too grand ma," Amelia winked at Sookie while speaking to Pam.

"GRAND MA," Pam fangs shot out.

"That's soo cool, I mean that's never gonna get old," Amelia, said holding her fingers as fangs. Sookie doubled over laughing.

After Eric and Pam both warning them that they did not take kindly to being referred to as wrinkly humans, they arrived at the club having picked up food for them. Both girls sat and ate their dinners in the staff room while chatting.

"Do you think we need money in this place?" Amelia asked.

"I've been thinking about that, you know," Sookie answered her fork paused mid air.

"And?"

"And... I was thinking we will need to come up with our own money somehow, I could do readings, I mean I've read tarot since I was like seven. If this is the Sookieverse I suppose I could do readings for Supes, but... I think we should try and get home first," Sookie mused.

" Sure, that goes without saying, that is if we're not dead... I suppose I could track down daddy and sponge off him," Amelia giggled, "Seeing as you wrote him as willing to give me a dime." Amelia dad was stinking rich, not that Amelia ever seen a dime. No papa Broadway believed firmly everyone should make their own way in the world, he didn't cut her one break. She even had to put herself through university, while her daddy wed gold digger after gold digger. No you had to be a bimbo with bleached hair and plastic tits, if you wanted money from Amelia's dad and defiantly not flesh and blood. Total asshole.

"Poetic, love it," laughed Sookie.

"What do you love?" asked Eric from the door.

"Poetic justice, long walks on the beach, sunshine on a rainy day, orgasms," smiled Sookie winking at Eric who grinned.

"When you are both finished I wish to discuss how you came to be here," Eric said purposefully.

Sookie shot Amelia a significant glancing at her over the top of her dinner. Amelia raised up her brows back to Sookie. "Okay," Sookie said slowly, shrugging to Amelia.

"Unless you already know why you were able to come back after four years being dead?" Eric asked fixing a steady gaze that Sookie felt, had a weight to it.

"We think we are dead and died in our car accident, this is some sort of... I don't know limbo maybe?" Sookie returned Eric's gaze.

"Limbo?" Eric chuckled.

"Why not? Do you know how crazy this is? I wrote you, I wrote this whole damn club. So how else can you explain that I ended up in a world I wrote and also created?" Sookie asked her left eyebrow arched as if to say well.

"There several possibilities, each one must be explored," his voice was full of authority. "I'll be in my office when you are done," he said as he spun on his heel.

"I'll be in my office when you are done," mocked Amelia in deep voice her eyebrow furrowed together, Sookie bit her lip to suppress her giggles at Amelia's impression. Both girls finished up and headed to the office.

"Sooo," Sookie said as she entered the office.

"So," Eric replied his legs spread wide, looking every inch the Viking sex god Sookie wrote him to be. Both woman eyes raked over his body greedily , he frowned, "Are you girls, ogling me?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, you know it," answered Amelia, not a lick of shame.

Eric just shook his head, but before he began speaking the door burst open. Pam had her fangs out, "the king," was all she managed to say, before they could hear voices in the hall way. Shit. A look of sheer panic crossed Eric's face, before it became blank marble.

Sookie shot Amelia look, then began rummaging in her bag, pulling out huge designer shades, slipping them on she rounded the desk facing Eric with her back to the door. She slapped him once across the face. He looked shocked. "Northman, you give me the best week of my life," she shouted, hoping he would understand and play along. Amelia looked confused at first to Pam, who was in a state of shock at Sookie's behaviour.

"The best fucking sex of my life... then you ...you just take it away after you have ruined me for all other men...why?" she cried out, the back of her wrist to her forehead- over acting. The voices in the hall had stopped as the King had not appeared at the door, it was safe to say they were listening in.

"I told you already it not going to work," Eric smirked.

"Not going to work!" screamed Sookie huge smile on her face. "Urgh, you can't give a woman orgasms like that... and then just dump them. There should be a law against it," she shrilled.

"It's over..." Eric began.

"No, don't say another word... FUCK YOU, Eric Northman and your talented tongue, your amazing fingers...urgh that huge, huge, cock that brought me so much pleasure... I am DONE, I've cried my last tears over you," Sookie was laying on so thick it was like watching daytime TV or so Amelia thought.

"Yes, we are so out of here and it's your loss, to think I was gonna let you sleep with me while Susannah watched and you would have ruined me too, no doubt. Well I for one am glad I had a lucky escape," yell Amelia. "Sweetie, don't cry over him he is a rat bastard," she finished with a great flourish.

Just then the King rounded the corner with Victor, Sookie had a moment of speechlessness when she took in how crazy good looking the King was. Shit. She quickly recovered, "Oh I see... it's all _So_ clear... now," yelled Sookie. "This is my replacement, huh? A man!" she pointed at the King. She began unbuttoning her blouse, exposing the top of her breast's

"Well say goodbye to the twins," with that Sookie grabbed her boobs and thrust them together. "Fann-gee-ta, I am ready to leave now," Sookie, barely able to keep the grin of her face at calling her bestie a god awful name. Amelia looked murderous. Pam who had looked on amused at the whole drama Sookie had unleashed, spoke in a bored tone "Allow me, to escort you out," inside she was vibrating with excitement. God bless, Sookie Stackhouse, thought Pam.

"Miss," Victor said addressing Sookie.

"Don't even speak to me, don't even look at me... I am done with Vampires," Sookie shrilled looking the opposite direction as she headed for the door hand in the air, leaving before any of the Vampires had even had a chance to speak again with Amelia in tow.

"My apologies your Majesty, you know how they get," Eric deflecting the attention back on to himself.

"Aren't you going to glamour them?" Felipe asked, concerned that the Viking allowed humans to speak to him like that.

"No, it's better for business if I don't. Free advertisement could you say," Eric replied smugly waggling his eyebrows.

"Ah, how very clever," Felipe replied then he laughed, "free advertisement, I shall have to keep that in mind."

Outside the back entrance as soon as the back door was closed, "FANN-GEE-TA?" Amelia sounded out each syllable with a head bob. "What the fuck?"

"Look, it was the best I could do... I was thinking on my feet," Sookie defended herself. Amelia crossed her arms across her chest and huffed.

"That was so entertaining, when you exposed your breast's Mmm," said Pam licking her lips. "Why did you expose yourself? not that I mind, you can do that anytime," Pam added with fang.

"If they were looking at my ta ta's, there not looking at my face. Do you think we got away with it?" Sookie answered, thinking back on how creepy Victor was, with a shudder.

"Yes, they made no motions to show that they recognised you. With the sunglasses and the hair colour, we may have gotten away with it. Wait for me over at Starbuck's at the end of the strip mall, take this," Pam thrust a wad of notes at the girls.

"Okay, see you later," Amelia replied voice dripping with sex she added a wink at the end.

"I need to get back, this visit was unexpected," Pam said re entering the club.

The girls walk down, the street arriving at the Starbucks a few minutes later. Ordering coffee's and a large slice of chocolate cake to share they sat down.

"Aw shit Sookie, that was fucking close. What do you think they would have done if they recognised you, us?" Amelia asked, trying to wrap her head round the weirdness of it all, considering they had never met.

"No, idea but I would have just wrote them a new one? Get it?" Sookie giggled. Giggling was a nervous habit that she had, had since she was little.

"Urgh, that is so bad. Did you get a load of Felipe, is that how you imagined him?" Amelia asked.

"OH-MY-GOD, Yes! Like Enrique and some Spanish God of all things unholy and oh so fucking sexy and so bad for you, had a freakin baby," Sookie blurted out.

"I could have totally licked him from head to toe, like my very own Vampscile. If I was a Vamp, I think if a specimen of such outstanding, sexy, hornyness like him crossed my path, it would be considered rude not to turn him," Amelia enthused, Sookie giggled.

"Same could be said for Eric," Sookie blushed remembering her night, last night.

"_One night in heaven, oO oOh one night in heaven,"_ Amelia sang badly then laughed like a crazy person.

"Hey," Sookie rolled her eyes, then she broke out in a big grin, "it was heaven, 12 glorious inches of solid heaven," she sighed.

Before Amelia could say anything else three masked men with guns burst through the doors. Oh this can't be happening was Sookie's first thoughts. Slipping her hand into bag, her fingers made contact with her gun.

"NOBODY FUCKING MOVE," yelled one of the men.

"It's all so Pulp Fiction," Amelia whispered. Sookie giggled. Then men's attention turned to them.

"Looky, what do we have here?" said one of the men, breaking off from the others sauntered towards them.

Amelia looked at Sookie, 'read my mind, Bitch,' Amelia's thoughts hit Sookie hard she swayed a little.

"What?" Sookie said looking at Amelia.

The man looked at the two women, "Maybe we will have ourselves a little fun, too," he said approaching them. At the same time, Amelia thought at Sookie; _'I need a distraction, I am gonna try something. There is no way we are going with these creeps.'_

"What kinda fun did you have in mind, I loves me a bad boy," Sookie spoke in a husky voice. The man stopped for a second, as Sookie had not reacted in the way he expected, since his mind was like paint by numbers and poor Derrick couldn't count up to twenty eight it took his mind quite some time to catch up.

Sookie shot Amelia a look, trying to figure out what she was doing. Currently Amelia was staring at her plastic chocolate cake covered fork. The man took another step forward, but the squirrels in his brain hadn't come back with a reply yet so he remained silent. By now the other two men who had been harassing the counter staff with sawn off shot guns, had stopped and were also looking at the two women.

Suddenly Amelia's chair shot backwards, hitting the floor with a loud clatter, "_Expelliarmus," _sheyelled at the man closest. Pointing the chocolate covered fork at him, the next things happened so quick it take much longer to explain them. The man's gun was yanked out of his hands by an invisible force, hitting the wall with a loud thud.

"What the..." one of the men at the counter yelled, before firing. "_Immobulus," _Amelia shreeched with a yelp at the end. Sookie, hit the floor dragging Amelia and the table with her.

The tossed table cover them, just like the action movies Sookie thought, "Oh fuck...shit shit shit," Sookie was wide eyed, her gun in her hand. "_Expelliarmus..._ really Amelia! That's fucking Harry Potter," Sookie whispered in hushed tones.

"Well it worked didn't it?," Amelia shot back, chocolate covered fork at the ready held out in front of her.

"That was your plan! Fuck, well I am so glad I went with seduction instead of screaming like a banshee. Geez," Sookie snarked at her friend. They both sat waiting, it was deathly quiet. Looking at each other they ever so gently turned to the table. Gingerly they crept up and looked over the top of the upturned table. Frozen in mid air, was shot gun pelts close and above their heads. Everybody in the coffee shop was frozen mid action. Slowly Amelia got up pulling Sookie with her.

"Wow," was all Sookie said. Pushing her and Amelia out of the path of the frozen pelts.

"Holy shit, Sook's... I am a freaking witch," Amelia blurted out going up to the nearest guy and poking him with her fork. He remained unmoving.

"What other spells do you know?" Amelia asked Sookie.

"WHAT?" Sookie replied, was still trying to comprehend the bazaar scene in front of them.

"You, know Harry Potter, what other spell's can you remember?" Amelia asked making her way down to the two masked men at the counter. "I can only remember the two, I've already used," she added, getting up real close to one of the masked men.

"Oh," Sookie answered picking up hers and Amelia's purses. "Mmm, _Alohomora?_ Doesn't that open shit, in the film?" Sookie said thoughtfully joining her friend. She racked her brain thinking of Harry Potter.

"_Alohomora," _Amelia said confidently, pointing the fork at shorter of the two men at the counter, his belt buckle sprung open and his trousers dropped. "Ah, so it does," Amelia grinned. Sookie's eye's widen.

"Holy shit, that's fucked up, Ames," Sookie stared at the man, astonished. Catching files would be the phrase.

"No it's so cool, I can feel it coursing through my body and out the fork," Amelia looked at her fork in wonder.

"Well, we should really get out of here," Sookie grabbed her friends arm began heading for the door.

There was a noise at the front door, Sookie grabbed Amelia pushing her down on the floor, behind the little counter you get milk and sugar at. "Shh," Sookie said, reaching out with her telepathy she found one void and one human brain.

"Stay here," said a woman's voice. "I don't fucking believe it," she sighed. They heard her dial her phone, "Master I am at the coffee shop, I think we are going to need clean up," it was Pam.

Getting out from behind, the little station, both girls looked sheepish and waved a little wave at Pam.

"Yes, I know she could find trouble locked in the boot of a car," Pam grinned and it was fangy, she closed her phone.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Pam abashed them, but it was too late they already seen the amusement dancing in her eyes.

"Don't look at me it was all, Harriet Pornstar over there," Sookie answered.

"Harriet Pornstar?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah, as in Hairy Pornstar, you know Harry Potter, but I didn't think you'd care much for me calling you that since you were so offended at Fanngeeta," Sookie answered.

"Oh, I get it, good one. Loving the Pornstar bit. Whats your Porn star name?" Amelia asked, Pam looked on in total amusement at the two women that seemed to be oblivious to the fact the whole coffee shop stunk of magic rather than coffee. Everybody was frozen.

"Porn star name? Ooh... you mean when I take my first pets name and my first street name I lived on?" Sookie asked.

"Yeah that's the one. What is it? Mine's Butch Cherry... ah loved that little dog, crazy son of a bitch that little fucker humped everything, I mean eveything." Amelia had a faraway look in her eyes.

"Aw he was a cutie," Sookie said having seen a mental picture in Amelia's mind. "Well mine would be..."

"I hate to break up the party but, Hello" Pam gestured at the scene behind us. "What happened?"

"We were just having coffee, discussing Enrique and Spanish gods of debauchery having babies, when these yahoo's came storming in like all Pulp Fiction, giving it big lick's brandishing their weapons," Amelia informed Pam.

Sookie burst out laughing, "brandishing their weapons, that just sounds so wrong, like they had their cock's out or something. I just got an awful mental picture there for a minute." Amelia giggled at Sookie.

"That one almost does," Pam said pointing at shortie with his trousers at his ankles.

"That was Amelia," Sookie shrugged. Pam cocked an eyebrow at Amelia.

"Tis was me, with the aid of my trusty magical plastic fork," Amelia said before her and Sookie fell into peel's of laughter. Sookie was trying to regain control of herself, wiping tears and mascara with the back of her hand, when Eric walked in.

His nostrils flared, his fangs dropped, he only said one word, "Witches," I came out as a growl.

Amelia held out her fork, "Don't come any closer, I've got a fork and I know how to use it," she said. Setting off both Sookie and herself again.

"Oh God... oooh, I can't ...breathe for laughing...oooh," Sookie stuttered out.

"Not witches master apparently one witch, with a fork," Pam deadpanned.

Eric's eye's narrowed, on Amelia. "Witch," he sneered, Eric had a real distaste for witches ever since being cursed by one.

"Oh you did not just, diss me..._Alohomora,"_ Amelia had pointed her fork at Eric, moments later Eric's ridiculously large belt buckle popped open as did the buttons on his jeans, Eric watched in shock as his trousers began to slip down his legs.

Amelia and Sookie just hugged each other, for support they were laughing so much, Sookie had her leg's crossed. "Oh my God, I am going to pee, ohh...phew," she forced out in between peel's of laughter.

Eric growled, Amelia totally ignored him, "just as well he had boxers on or we would have seen GP," she giggled.

"Oh stop it," Sookie hit her lightly across the arm, as Eric fixed his jeans with a growl.

"Pam," Eric said indicating the men, Pam pulled off the ski mask's and removed their weapons. "Witch, unfreeze them," Eric commanded, he was still seething.

Amelia looked thoughtful for a moment, Eric and Pam looked on expectantly. She opened her mouth to speak only to close it again. "Hmm," she finally said.

"Hmm?" Pam repeated.

Amelia grimaced, "well the thing is...Hmm...that I used Harry Potter spell's and I don't know any others, it's not like I have a clue what I was doing, I used a fork as a wand for Christ sakes," Amelia finally admitted, with a shrug.

"So you have no idea how to undo all this," Pam shook her hand at all the people who remained frozen.

"Ye-aah, that pretty much covers it," Amelia answered.

"Good to see some things never change," Pam offered in a bored tone.

"Make one up," Sookie suggested.

"Make one up?" Amelia repeated.

"Yeah, like...hmm let's see. Alive-i-O or Mobilis, something like that," Sookie shrugged.

"Magic is not something that should be trifled with..." before Eric could utter his full warning, Amelia raised her fork wand above her head with great flourish she waved it like she was fencing, "Mobilis," she yelled.

Suddenly the whole coffee shop started up, the sound off the gun sounded even though it was no longer in the mans hands. The girl at the counter screamed. The black woman sitting by the window prayed harder her eye's screwed tightly shut. Then people began registering that Amelia and Sookie had moved and there was now two Vampires in the shop too, a very type of fear began to take hold in everyone.

Sookie jumped up and down on the spot clapping her hands together excitedly, "you did it," she smiled at Amelia.

"Huh, how you like dem apples?" Amelia grinned back.

Pam and Eric moved quickly putting everyone in their thrall. They glamoured them to removed all traces of Sookie and Amelia from their memories. At Sookie's insistence they implanted, that the pimpily over weight server had been a hero and somehow disarmed all the men and over powered them. Sookie gave a big genuine smile when everything was done, knowing that it would a tremendous boost to the boy's self esteem.

With that they left the coffee shop, "Not two hours have passed and you have already found trouble," Eric frowned at them.

"Eh? More like trouble found us, thank you very much. I think you'll find I did what I was told and went to Starbuck's like a good girl," Sookie said indignantly, inside she was fuming Eric was trying to make this her fault.

Eric smiled loving her fire, he thought how much he missed this, someone talking back to him without fear, it had been a while.

Amelia broke the silence, "So what did the King want?" she asked.

"He was checking on us, he has spies everywhere. Pam and my absences was noticed yesterday. Of course he said he was just passing through," Eric answered, bitterly. Even after all this time the King didn't trust him, not even anything that remotely resembling trust, Eric thought angrily.

"Just take over, if you don't like it," Sookie said nonchalantly.

* * *

**REVIEW MY SWEETS...Let me know what you think...**


	3. Coconuts about you

**Wish apon a Star**

**Chapter 3**

**Coconuts About You**

* * *

**A/N: Hello pep's. . . I hope you enjoy this next chapter in this crazy little ride. . .**

**JoxX**

* * *

_**Previous chapter**_

_Amelia broke the silence, "So what did the King want?" she asked._

"_He was checking on us, he has spies everywhere. Pam and my absences was noticed yesterday. Of course he said he was just passing through," Eric answered, bitterly. Even after all this time the King didn't trust him, not even anything that remotely resembling trust, Eric thought angrily. _

"_Just take over, if you don't like it," Sookie said nonchalantly._

* * *

Eric laughed, "You wish to be Queen my sweet?" he asked his tone light.

"This not about me, it about you. I also think you're getting a little ahead of yourself there too buddy, one of night whoopee and what? You think I am ready to be your Queen? That's fucked up, geez," Sookie smiled, knowing she was pushing his buttons, but she also thought; much truth was said in jest.

Although she had wrote Eric and Sookie to end up together and yeah the Viking was her idea of a dream man, well perhaps without all the killing, she was realist and she knew she did not belong in this world nor was she the Sookie in the books.

Eric took her arm, "Pam, we will meet you back at the bar," he commanded. Without any further comments as she drag Amelia away, much to Amelia's chagrin.

"Sookie," he began, trying to find the words, that didn't make him seem like a mad stalker, but he was certain he would not let her go this time. Maybe she should just get it over with and turn her, his thoughts raced.

"Eric, is it a good idea for us to be out in the open like this?" Sookie asked, when Eric had remained quiet for longer than made her comfortable.

Before Sookie could think anything more Eric had scooped her up and shot into the air, all while clamping a hand over her mouth so she didn't scream like a banshee. When he felt her stop struggling he took his hand off.

"Why you high handed asshole! This is kidnapping you know buddy," Sookie yelled at him, seething with righteous indignation.

"I know, I feel terrible about it, I will turn myself in as soon as I am able," Eric said his face serious, but she could tell he was joking. Ass.

"_Humph_. . .Where are you taking me?" Sookie squawked trying desperately not to think about the fact they were flying or how much her piece of chocolate cake wanted to seriously say hi again.

"Somewhere quite," Eric cryptically replied. _O-kay_, Sookie thought. _Was that somewhere quite as in somewhere nobody could hear you scream quite or just..._ the thoughts whizzed in her head.

After a short while, Eric set Sookie down at the edge of a lake, the night about them was absolutely still and only moon and stars lit the surrounding area.

"Are you cold?"

"Ya think? What gave me away? The fact my nipples can cut glass or that my lips are blue? Or maybe it's the mini epileptic fits my body is taking as I shiver to death," Sookie snapped.

Eric took of his jacket wrapping round Sookie looking at her in pure delight, "Stay here, I'll be right back," Eric said zipping of at Vampire speed.

"Fucking brilliant, where else would I go?" Sookie muttered to herself, _'just what I've always wanted to stuck in the blackest of night at the edge of a forest in bum fuck god knows where-urgh,' _Sookie thought, annoyed she had been separated from Amelia as she huddled deeper into the wonderful smelling jacket.

A few minutes later Eric came back with an armful of wood , Sookie wasn't surprised when he returned as she had been tracking him with her telepathy however the fire wood was a surprise. Eric set about building a fire, this melted Sookie a little as it was such a sweet gesture.

When it was done Eric gestured for her, "Come sit with me," he asked, patting the space beside him.

Still not a hundred percent happy, she moved as though her limbs where weighed down, sitting down next to the Vampire with thud. "I never knew what real happiness was until I met Sookie," he began.

"I am not her," Sookie said, her mood souring even more.

"I know, I want you to be," he looked out over the water, past the fire.

"I can't be something I am not," Sookie said quietly. _Awkward_, her thoughts screamed.

"Tell me, in the world where you have come from, are you happy?" he asked changing the subject but not really as Vikings are wily like that.

"As much I can be," she answered honestly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I have a very debilitating disability, this is the longest I've been without gloves since I was eight years old, outside my home-ever. Touch heightens everything, people leave pieces of themselves on anything they touch, it can be maddening, sickening. Then there's knowing how all my loved ones are going to die. I am happy when I write, when I immerse myself in a world that isn't real. Amelia makes me happy her mind is simple, as in she says what's on it, not twisty and full of hate. She's bright and funny, she's a miracle to me, she is literally my only friend."

"You're ability seems far stronger and more wide ranging than my Sookies was," Eric commented, twirling a blade of grass between his fingers.

"I played it down in the books, nobody wants to read the 'shero' puking her guts up because some sleaze imagine raping her and she could feel it like it was happening to her."

Eric fangs descended with a snap that seemed to echo in the forest. Eric's jaw had tensed, the silence grew. Sookie contented herself by looking in the fire hugging her knees. Finally Eric broke the silence, "When you wrote my character... that's sounds weird even to me and I have lived a thousand years, I thought I'd seen it all... Did you write him to be your perfect man?"

"Yes, I guess...but that's just it, he's a fantasy man, not real,"

"I am real, I am right here. Last night was real when we made love, it was real, it _is_ real," Eric answered.

"But I am not Sookie from the books, I am Susannah from California living in Louisiana with publishers deadlines, I don't sling beer, I can't do bars. I had a dog called Sam, he was hit by truck it killed him- dead. So I immortalised him in the pages of my books as my trusty friend, even thought he liked to hump my leg...that was my dog Sam, not Sam in the books, you know in case you were confused. I know I am."

Eric's face broke into a huge grin and he laughed, "Oh Lover, there has been many nights I wished the shifter had met a similar fate, you may just have made my night."

"This is so strange... utterly bizarre," Sookie voiced her thoughts.

"I have a proposal," Eric said tossing a bit of wood on the fire.

"Go on," Sookie sighed.

"You clearly were until last night Louisiana's oldest virgin, your life sounds kinda boring. I was better when I had someone to call me on my shit, to stand up to me, to look me in the eye and just see me, no label just who I am.

I propose that we are just Sookie and Eric to each other, you wrote me to be your fantasy but right now I am your reality. Surly in your world you craved to be touched, loved even? I can do that, I want to do that. You put aspects of yourself into the character you believed you created that was my wife. Give me a chance to feel love again,"

Sookie swallowed a pretty big lump in her throat, "but what if I don't? You can't make someone love you. It's not that you're unappealing quite the opposite actually, I can't hear your thoughts, last night was... for a better word amazing, spectacular works too but... is that enough? I mean I could be in a hospital bed with a huge bump on my head or I am dead and this is some weird test or..or... I don't know... _something_?"

Eric was silent for a moment studying her face, "what are you afraid off?" he challenged Sookie.

"Everything! And anything! I shit my pants being alone at night in my own home. Where I come from we don't even have Vampire or Werewolves, for crying out loud! I am not brave like her, I am not her."

Eric smirked, "No you are not, yet at the same time you are her. You faced down a Vampire King and his second armed with a pair of sunglasses and the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. You saved yourself and your friend, Pam and I, by thinking on your feet, just like a blonde beauty I once knew,"

"That wasn't brave that was me saving my own hide and getting the fuck out of there, running... as fast as my legs could take me."

"It was brave, very brave. You slapped me and I could have snapped you, in a blink of an eye," Eric added. "In fact I think you put more of yourself in your books than you realised."

"Say we do this and I find a way home to my life and my Gran, what then?... I don't know this has the potential to become very messy. Pardon the pun but this has heart break written all over it... I just don't know?" Sookie chewed on her finger nails.

"Sookie, I care of nothing anymore. I would leave it all just to have one shot to have something like I had before, even if it came with no guarantees," Eric insisted.

"You would always be comparing me, Sookie Stackhouse is a fantasy, just like I wrote you. I don't want to fill her boots, I want to wear my own," preferably high end, designer ones in soft Italian leather, Sookie mused to herself.

"Well you are certainly stubborn enough to be her," he chuckled. "That's my proposal, we are just Susannah and Eric, we see where this goes. If you wrote me like you say you did; then you know me and if you based Sookie Stackhouse on yourself then surly I know aspects of you. Reading the books I realised I actually knew very little of my wife. You are here and you are real, as am I."

"You won't pull any possessive crap on me, if I feel this is not working out?"

"I most likely will, but I believe we won't be disappointed in taking a chance, the odds of you loving me are actually stacked in your favour you wrote me remember?"

"Oh great, so now I have a greater chance of being dumped by my own fictional character, than me doing the dumping...I mean that's a blow a women's ego could never recover from."

"So you will give us a chance?" trust the Viking to cease the opportunity.

"Yes," Sookie smiled, just then the fire popped as a large branch cracked in the heat causing both to jump back, Sookie holding on to the Viking for dear life, her heart hammering wildly. When the fright was over both laughed at each other, like a couple of loons.

"See not brave, total wuss. You've got an excuse, you go up like a Roman candle but me-geez that shit is just embarrassing," Sookie smiled, as Eric kissed her, deepening the kiss, he began getting carried way.

"Whoa, before you initiate me in to outdoor sex, I'd like to at least like to have a bit more indoor fun first," Sookie halted the armours Viking.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Yes, you are right, we still have much to discuss. First of all how you came to be here, but I think this is a discussion best had with Pam and Amelia also."

The couple arrived hand in hand into the staff entrance of Fangtasia, Eric inhaled and growled, "Magic," he hissed. Nothing and I mean nothing could have prepared the couple for the sight that greeted them upon entering the main area of the club.

As Eric pushed open the door to the bar, he nearly squished a toad but that was not the only wild life that greeted them. A man sporting an elephant trunk walked past them with a dazed look on his face. A golden eagle swooped down and landed on a nearby table when it turned its head, Sookie gasped as the face of a woman looked back at her, complete with fangbanger make up.

In the middle of the dance floor was Amelia twirling and singing like she was high, her chocolate cake covered fork held out in front of her swishing and swashing, like she didn't have a care in the world.

Sookie let out a nervous laugh, as the end of the fork gave a crackle and Amelia turned looking like manic crack whore on meth, her clothes torn, her expression dazed. "SOOOKIE!" Amelia yelled in her intoxicated state.

The Viking lunge for Sookie bringing her down to the floor a split second after Amelia's fork surged and a bright blue light streamed out of it. Amelia laughed manically crossing her legs so she wouldn't pee, "Did you see? did you see?" she slurred waving the fork about as random objects were changed by the odd blue lightening the fork emitted.

"Holy shit, what the fuck is wrong with her?" Sookie whispered trying to get up, turning her head she seen a giant hole where her and Eric had just stood.

"Fucking witch," Eric hissed.

"Oi! That's my best friend. Where's Pam anyway? I thought she was looking out for her," Sookie shot back with a stink eye.

Eric lifted Sookie to standing, taking her hand began leading her to behind the bar, "I can feel her but there is something wrong with the bond, shes behind here, but she doesn't feel like her self," Eric replied just as the doors to the club burst open there stood Victor Madden. Oh dear. He looked like he had something witty and smarmy to say, but looking around the club, whatever he was going to say died on his lips and he settle for a look of sheer disbelief.

Eric wasted no time practically throwing Sookie and himself behind the bar, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Eric hissed as he joined Sookie on the floor.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Sookie whispered crouched down by the sinks, rummaging in her bag.

"I don't think sunglass are going to get us out of this one, Lover," Eric smirked at her, "Oh you are so much trouble," he continued pressing a kiss to the side off her head, then moving to her lips, he palmed her breast. The danger oddly turning Sookie on all the more.

Gurgling came from the sink and tiny voice said "knock it off." Sookie peered over the sink , then rubbed her eye's to look again, Eric had joined her peering into the sink.

Starring back was a huge goldfish, with massive fangs, _fangs_? "Pam?" Sookie whispered tentatively.

"Not a fucking word," the fish snarled.

"Oh Pam you seem to have got yourself in a flap...a fish flap," sniggered Eric, Pam just blew a load of bubbles as if to say _'pfft'_. Pulling a huge sword out from under the sink, Sookie's eyes widened at it.

"Northman!" Victor bellowed. Through the hole in the bar, Sookie could see Amelia collapsed on the floor. From her mind she could tell she was still alive but seemed to be asleep in a drunken stupor drooling on the floor. _Great, just great! _Thought Sookie. _When you actually need someone turned into an animal... _her thoughts continued to rant.

Eric began to rise from behind the bar, but Sookie put a hand on his arm shaking her head, "I think in this instanced the pen might be mightier than the sword," Sookie waved a black and gold fountain pen with a 'True Blood' logo on it that her Gran had snagged at one of the True Blood TV show after parties.

His eye narrowed, "What are you going to do?"

"What I do best, I am gonna write Victor a new one," she whispered.

"Turn the waste disposal on... please I can't take any more snappy one liners, I am a fish for Christ sakes!" said Pam from the sink gurgling.

"Don't get your fins in a flap," smirked Sookie with that she jumped up.

"Hey y'all sorry about the mess what can I get ya?" Sookie smiled, picking up a waitress pad. She began writing furiously.

Victor blurred up to her, "What is this?" he snarled.

"This would be a bar... you gonna order something or what?" Sookie said in a bored tone in reality she was shitting her pants wondering when her brilliant plan was gonna work as so far nothing had happened. Zip, nada, ziltch. Panic was creeping in, I mean Amelia's fork worked just fine...why wasn't this working? She wondered. Oh fuck.

"I'll take a true blood, AB neg," Victor said almost on auto pilot wondering what kinda magic was at play here and trying to get a better look at human in front of him as she had her head down.

"Sookie?" he asked, unsure but he recognised her as the woman from the office from earlier. What was the Viking playing at?

Sookie looked up, "Hi," she said in small voice with a little wave of her hand and her pretty face in a grimace. Victors eyes widened.

"How is this even possible? I seen your body with my own eye's?"

"Okay Eww! I am going need you to read back your order," Sookie said thrusting the waitress pad at Victor, in hope to buy more time so she could signal Eric to how fucked they were.

Victor glanced down at the pad, catching his name he began to read, "Victor Madden, gets hit on the head by a giant coconut and gets knocked out... then catches fire...?" he read out loud, meanwhile Sookie is signalling Eric under the bar, making face's that she hopes conveys that they are indeed screwed. Beyond screwed- fucked actually. Which is another word for screwed, but sounds just that bit more serious and urgent.

"Is this a joke?" Victor snapped.

"Yeah, on me apparently- a big cosmic one," Sookie sighed rolling her eyes. Eric flew up and landed on the bar with a thud, sword in hand ready to save the da...er night. Just as giant coconut promptly fell out of nowhere, hitting, one Victor Madden on the head. He stumbled dragging a candle down with him as he lost consciousness catching fire as he hit the floor.

Sookie and Eric were left catching flies, "SHUT UP!" Sookie gasped in astonishment, her eyes as wide as saucers. Thinking good riddance she never really like him as a character anyway and he had given her writers block like you wouldn't believe once or twice, so fuck him-her thoughts added.

"Makes me wish I smoked, I'd just light one up right now using Victor," Eric leaned back away from the flames, glad that Victor Madden is finally dead or will be at least in the next few minutes.

Stunned Sookie lifted the pen and looked at it in wonder, "Holy hell," she laughed. In the back of her mind she knew she should feel guilty but _naw, _if this was her writing a book she could make up the characters and killed them of as she pleased. So how was this so different? "That really stinks," Sookie screwed up her nose using her pen to point at Victors ashes.

Eric nodded in agreement,"come on we need to put this bar back they way it was and restore some order... so write like wind, my Dear one," Eric waggled his eye brow's.

"Grab fishy Pam out of the sink I am not touching that," Sookie pointed the pen towards the sink, but before she could move Eric descended on her kissing her deeply.

"Whoa, what was that for?"

"For being you, for lighting my darkness," Eric smiled at her.

"Oh," she blushed. Does that come with nachos? I sure do love nachos with cheese, Sookie thought.

She picked up the pad again writing that Pam suddenly transformed back into her Vampire self, then she read it aloud.

The air round Pam shimmered."Get your hand off my ass!" Pam shrieked dripping wet and naked with Eric practically throwing her out of his hands as she transformed back to herself.

"Ewww, I smell of fish and slues sink. . . urgh, I'll never be clean," wailed Pam, crinkling her nose like she couldn't even stand her own smell.

Soon order was restored and Sookie's hand ached from all the writing. Amelia was still out for the count. Eric had glamoured all the humans.

"Gin and Tonic, for the lady," Eric bowed dramatically handing Sookie a glass. She smiled grimaced at Eric. Smiled because it was sweet gesture. Grimaced because G & T was sooo not her drink.

"Sorry, I actually don't like Gin... at all. It's kinda blah. And I read somewhere it's got like thirty eight known poisons in it. . _.hum_ could be an urban legend but I am not sure drinking is a good idea as I sorta feel a bit intoxicated as it is...I think it's the pen and _hoodoo watchma_ call it," she shook the pen.

Eric nodded regarding her for a second, "Coke?" he smiled not giving a fuck that he was acting like a love sick teenager.

"Make it a diet, I gotta a big handsome Viking to keep up with ya know? Can't have my ass getting any fatter than it already is," she winked at **her man**. A little part of her couldn't help but feel a buzz of excitement at that- her man. Down girl.

Eric filled one of the non broken glasses with diet coke and handed it to Sookie, she gulped at it greedily. Sighing contentedly when she had her fill.

"You are hungry," Eric stated.

"Yeah, I've only really eaten the once today...us weird little humans need to do that three times a day to stay healthy would you believe? Crazy huh?" she smiled softly at **Her Man.**

"Oh Geez. Is this to be my life now? To watch you and my master make googly eyes at each other night after night?" Pam teased with a huge grin on her face that looked feral, but inside she beamed that this Sookie had been sent to them, once again.

Secretly Pam believed that Giorgio Versace had answered her prayer and was indeed smiling down on her and Eric from heaven or at least where the really cool non immortals go when they die. Surly it couldn't be with all the common vermin, they must have a cooler heaven. . . maybe it was like heaven with a French accent _'H'eav-van'_ yes that must be it Pam's mind mused.

"That and listening to us fuck like bunnies," Sookie turned to Pam not a lick of shame on her face.

There had not been many times Pam had been rendered speechless in her life but this would have to be one of them. As multiple come backs raced through her mind not one seemed to fit, after a few seconds she gave up, choosing to change the subject entirely.

"Shall we get the little witch home, minus the fork of course," Pam turned to Eric.

"Yes, we will pick up some food for Sookie and the witch on the way home too," Eric lead the way, locking up the club for the night, grabbing Sookie hand.

* * *

**Hope you liked? Answers on a review. . . JoxX**


End file.
